Deepening Heart Connection
Hearts are meant to be intertwined. Like vines that sprout out of the soil and crisscross over the gnarled bark of an aging oak, hearts are born to connect, to be connected. It is something that is programmed into us like walking and chewing.
Human beings need intimacy. They crave touching and long to be touched. It is a medical fact that babies who are not picked up, who are not touched, and stroked- do not thrive.
Dean Ornish, M.D. the noted cardiologist, in his book, “Love and Survival,” has chronicled the many research studies that show unequivocally that without intimacy and connection people develop real heart disease. Loneliness is a killer.
Learning to deepen our heart connection is something we cannot live without and what better time to celebrate and consider the role of heart centered living than National Nurses Week, May 6-12.
A compassionate and caring nurse is a great symbol of true healing. When we are ill the need for a deep heart connection is at it’s greatest. What child doesn’t remember the gentle touch of their mother when a scraped knee or banged finger created intolerable pain? Could we have endured that difficulty without the loving embrace and soft caress of our mother’s comfort?
I think most of us would agree that when we are in pain or are suffering, often just the presence of someone we love is enough to provide relief.
So how can we deepen our heart connection? How can we plant seeds that will lead to a greater intimacy and healing?
Perhaps one of the first steps that can help foster this way to healing, is by developing a greater heart awareness. We need to learn to be more intoned to what is going on inside our heart. By heart I don’t just mean our physical heart. Sure it’s important to know if we are in physical pain or actual heart illness is lurking beneath the surface, but even more important may be the need to tap into what is happening at an emotional or even spiritual level.
Honesty, real honesty about what we feel is essential if we want to be healed. All too often people repress their true feelings.
“I’m not feeling that bad.” “I can live with this sadness.”
Hiding behind a facade of being “OK” when the heart is crying inside can lead to actual illness. No, instead of ignoring our feelings we need to take some time to truly get in touch with what we are feeling. If we are unwilling to connect with our own heart- how can we connect with the hearts of others?
Introspection and contemplation are two good tools for starting this process. Plan on spending at least 20-30 minutes each day reflecting on what your heart feels. Keeping a journal is also a good practice. Journaling without trying to control what is written has been clinically shown to be effective in reducing stress. It can also be an eye opener. The more you write down what you feel, the more you’ll become aware of the real issues that are troubling you.
Many guided meditation CD’s are available for this process. You may also want to consider counseling or therapy, and another option is personal coaching. Coaching is a process for helping clients identify and heal the issues that prevent them from connecting in the way that will be more fulfilling.
Whatever the method you choose, just keep in mind the importance that becoming more heart centered can have on your health.
As the Broken Heart Syndrome (real heart disease caused by overwhelming grief) has shown doctors, a deep heart connection can be the vine that keeps you firmly rooted and can literally save your life.
Kirk Laman, D.O., F.A.C.C.
Dr. Kirk Laman is a board certified, cardiologist interested in heart disease prevention. He is an Assistant Professor of Medicine at Michigan State University. He offers a free monthly newsletter on his website called “Mending Hearts. ” His book, “How to Heal Your Broken Heart, ” (http://www.HealingYourBrokenHeart.com) is designed to help people struggling with issues of the heart. Go to: www.drlaman.com for further information about Dr. Laman
